The Reality Principle at Work
To understand the reality principle, it’s important to first have a grasp of how the two components of personality identified by Freud function. The id seeks instant gratification of needs, demands, and urges. If we acted according to what our id wanted, we might find ourselves grabbing food off of another person’s plate just because it looks so delicious or getting too friendly with someone else’s spouse when we’re feeling amorous. The id is ruled by the pleasure principle—the idea that impulses need to be fulfilled immediately. The ego, on the other hand, is the component of personality that deals with the demands of reality. It makes sure that the desires of the id are satisfied in ways that are effective and appropriate—in other words, the ego is ruled by the reality principle. The reality principle forces us to consider the risks, requirements, and possible outcomes as we make decisions by temporarily halting the discharge of the id’s energy until a suitable time and place. In other words, the ego doesn’t try to block an urge, but instead, it works to make certain the desires of the id are met in ways that are safe, realistic, and appropriate. For example, rather than snatching that slice of pizza, the ego will force you to wait until you can buy your own slice, a delay achieved through what is known as the secondary process.
Reining in Unsuitable Behavior
As you might imagine, the reality principle and the pleasure principle are forever at odds. Because of the role the ego plays, it’s often referred to as having an executive or mediating role in personality. The ego constantly engages in what is known as reality testing; it must come up with realistic plans of action that can satisfy our needs. Freud often compared the relationship of the id and the ego to that of a horse and rider: The horse represents the id, ruled by the pleasure principle and providing the energy to race to satisfy needs and desires. The ego is the rider, constantly tugging on the reins of the id in order to steer a person to act in ways that are acceptable and appropriate. The development of a healthy ego, one that leans on the reality principle to control impulses, delay gratification of a desire until it can be met appropriately, and so forth, is an important part of psychological development and one of the hallmarks of a mature personality. Throughout childhood, kids learn how to control their urges and behave in ways that are socially appropriate. Researchers have found that children who are better at delaying gratification may have better-defined egos because they tend to be more concerned with things such as social appropriateness and responsibility.
