Your spouse will have expectations on the continued involvement of each family member which can add pressure to your relationship. This alone can trigger uncomfortable feelings for anyone, but if you have borderline personality disorder, you may have the added difficulty of struggling to relate to these new people. It can be frustrating for you when her partner wants to have close relationships with his family members, especially if you find out your spouse was mistreated by them in the past. You may believe that your partner is making excuses and not seeing the family in a true light. You may also feel tense if you feel that your partner’s family rejects or judges you. These feelings of rejection may result from any number of things, including the belief that they dislike you, doubt your competency or question your parenting decisions and abilities. No matter how hard you may wish otherwise, your in-laws aren’t going anywhere.
Coping With the In-Laws
When you feel that your in-laws are ignoring you or are rude, it can be tempting to dwell on your feelings or lash out while hurting. It’s important to take a step back to really think through the person’s actions and your reaction before responding to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessarily hurt feelings. Impulsive reactions will just come out in anger and the real issues will not be heard or addressed. While it can be tough to make yourself take a break in these situations, here are seven tips for handling your emotions and coping: In addition to talking to your partner, it is a good idea to honestly discuss what happened and how you feel during regular sessions with your therapist. A therapist who specializes in BPD can assist you in determining appropriate and effective methods of communicating with those who are causing you pain. A good therapist can arm you with the skills to relate to people that easily trigger hurt feelings.
